Pressure!

I am often my own worst enemy.
I was just given my annual quota and it seems astronomical. The "power of positive thinking" needs to rain on my parade, big time! I hate looking at a goal with no concrete way of reaching it. It scares me. Pressure.
The yard looks like crap as well - with my back the way it's been the last year, my days of throwing a 12-hour landscaping marathon up are over. If I do those, then I'm screwed for a couple of days afterward, even if I stretch out for an hour afterward. But I hate it when my yard looks like crap. Pressure.
Yesterday I lined up with the C guys at Wells Av for my first race pace of the year and definitely had heavier legs until the last few laps. A guy in front of me fell off the pace of the lead group and before I knew it there was a 15 yard gap. That gap grew to 50 yards in just a few seconds and before I knew it I was trying to pull a group of about 5 guys or so back. I couldn't do it. Granted it's only the first race effort, and my training has really only been consistent now for a couple of weeks, but still. If my goal is to upgrade to Cat 4 by the end of summer, I need to get my sh*t together. The first "real race" of the season is this coming Sunday and I'm nervous. I can't get totally schooled. Pressure.
Need to get the master bathroom project started as well-it's half gutted and we've been waiting a bit so that we can just pay cash for the job and not pull money out of savings. I'll likely do most of the work myself (again) - at least the entire demo job. I can also install new fixtures, but my motivation to do all the tiling work with Brad is pretty low. Pressure.

Alone time.

Couldn't think of a better title....just back from a cold and wet 3 hour base ride. It's really my first full week of consistent effort on the bike. I probably rode 300 miles or so in January and February but to be honest, the workouts were not consistently linked and I maybe did one trainer workout/week. I just had no strong motivation which is interesting considering that I've registered for some early season road races. The legs haven't felt great. After a 3 hour slog last Saturday that saw me cramping up big time after about 2 hours, I had literally been shaken awake. Time to get going. So I licked my wounds from Saturday's debacle, got out for 2.5 hours solo on Sunday and felt a little better. Off on Monday with some solid core and stretching. Tuesday was a good 90 minutes outside with a couple of tempo intervals in. Wednesday was another 90 minutes, this time pretty all at or slightly below tempo pace. Thursday was 60 minutes with 2-10 minute threshold intervals. Friday off with Pilates and stretching, then today a solid 3 hour solo ride.

I like long solo rides on occasions. Pop in the left headphone and catch up on Podcasts or just listen to tunes and think. With 3 little ones occupying most of my "free time", I have a difficult time just thinking about stuff. Granted, my ADD has my thoughts zipping from this to that. This morning for instance I worked through a few design ideas for the master bathroom renovation project to what our family vacation plans will be to how I'll finish up this first quarter at my new job to whether or not I can afford to upgrade the fork on my 'cross bike this fall. Random and everywhere, sure. But nonetheless I find the alone time on the bike during longer base rides to be therapeutic. I think of creative gift ideas for my lovely wife, I wonder what specific lessons I'd like to teach my children, I think about less fortunate families around the world and what they're doing at that particular moment.

Alone time is precious for me...so I guess riding my bike in the wee hours of the morning and getting soaked doing it is the price of admission. It's worth it.

CATCHING UP!!!

Man, it's been a whirlwind few months! New job has been terrific and action packed. My manager is great and an old friend from big telecom. Working for a small software company is just awesome when compared to the daily internal fights that I was used to. Lots of collaboration with my team mates and a can do, go get 'em attitude. Plus I'm learning something completely new which I appreciate. Data security is so critical to today's environments and I feel like what I am doing is relevant and not so much a commodity. I feel refreshed and energized again.


Here is a photo from the New Hire trip to Israel:

This is just inside the walls of the Old City in Jerusalem. Amazing place! The company finds it important to bring new hires from around the world together for a week of exposure to the senior executives and the country itself. Being a bit of a travel fan, I was all in on this opportunity!! Putting my hands on stones that are 2,000 years old was a bit surreal. When we talk about history in the US, 200 years old is well, old. 200 years old in Israel in modernist in comparison!

On the bike front, I'm off to a lousy start. My back has been balky all winter despite diligent stretching and strengthening work on my part. When my back hurts there is simply not much motivation to get on the bike. Which is problematic, as I have a few races on the calendar that I need to get up for. Oh, and my road bike was broken and is being "fixed" by the good folks in Watertown. The dudes at the LBS are taking care of me cost-wise so I should be back out there soon enough. I feel like my base is just not where it was a year ago and I have a lot of homework to catch up on. Some years are better than others I suppose.....